...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I am naked and annoyed.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
