my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
