Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Randomize
