I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
