If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize