I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
