how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
