Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize