Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
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