Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
