3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Randomize
