i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
