she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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