nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
