____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
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