i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
