Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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