Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Randomize
