I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
