Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
