you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
