Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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