You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
