Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
