So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
