Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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