East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I look better un-naked...
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Watching her eat just hurts me
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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