ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
