also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
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