why didn't you poke me back
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
