The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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