i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I want to fling myself into the sun
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize