I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
