It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
