He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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