I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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