I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
