So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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