yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
