well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
