In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
