Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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