It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize