Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
