sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
