so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
