try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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