hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
