I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
