If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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