using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
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