You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
