I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Randomize