this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
