Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
