I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
