butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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