Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
40s are totally the cure
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Randomize
