The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
