Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Randomize
