I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
