So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
