OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
