so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Is that strawberry winking at me??
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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