We won't sleep together?
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
