I want to have your abortion
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Randomize
